


Brave Face

by Darkchrisbarrieblood



Category: Chris Barrie - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:25:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10018061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkchrisbarrieblood/pseuds/Darkchrisbarrieblood
Summary: Chris realizes there’s only so much he can successfully keep back.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to LizzieRimmsy for helping with the title and being a kind of beta!

I wish I could be open. I wish I could just throw out everything on my mind, everything which I’m hiding from them. I wish I could say about my problems, my depression, my anxiety, my harming, but I can’t. I can’t hurt them, they mean so much to me, whenever I go to, something gets in the way; Danny talking over me, sudden second guessing, the fear of getting mocked for all this, making them further hate me. I’m quiet because I’m scared of getting hurt. I wish I could just tell them everything. When they ask about my hiatus, I want to just throw out ‘ _I had depression and got to a low point in my life. My Chronic Fatigue Syndrome got bad and my control over my Tardive Dyskinesia was decreasing. If I continued anymore I could probably have had a breakdown. I tried to have a break but there was so much pressure on me to continue. I…I couldn’t let you down. You all mean so much to me, that’s why I carry on, for you. So, when you complain about Prince Among Men being crap, just think of all the shit I’ve been through before you accuse me of doing bad’._ All I want is them happy, I, I can’t hurt them anymore than I already do. I already don’t communicate with them enough; several emails I haven’t replied to because I can’t last that long anymore. I’m getting weaker, even though she says I’m getting stronger, I’m not. I’m weak. I can’t stay awake for long anymore. I’m pathetic. If they ever found out, I, I’d never forgive myself. I can never tell them.


End file.
